Friday, August 20, 2010

My teenage son just had a friend die in a car accident. How long do I give him to grieve and be alone?

He wasn't a terribly close friend, just someone he had classes with. In fact I never heard his name until yesterday. Is he really feeling bad or using this to get out of his household chores?My teenage son just had a friend die in a car accident. How long do I give him to grieve and be alone?
As long as he needs. It's scary to lose friends, I'm 34 now, but in high school, I lost 12 friends, in three years. His buddies will help him cope and vice versa. You really don't know for sure how close they were. High school for the most part is when you develop most of your life long friendships. You change friends, make new ones, lose some over and over. Let him be for now, but tell him household responsibilities will resume in a day or so after the services.My teenage son just had a friend die in a car accident. How long do I give him to grieve and be alone?
He's probably feeling bad. Just because you had never heard of him doesn't mean he wasn't important to your son. Give him five days to be alone.
I'm 13 and have had about 5 really close friends die. It's something really hard to go through. Make sure he knows that you are there for him if he'd like to talk about it, but other than that leave him alone. Do keep a close eye on him though. The death of my best friend caused me to become suicidal and my parents wernt watching me close enough. Luckily my brother found out how depressed I was and told my parents and they sent me to a shrink.
Young people tend to take it extra hard when a school acquaintance has died. I remember when a girl in my high school died, the whole school was in mourning, even those people that the girl treated badly. I have seen several other similar circumstances. If the friend wasn't that close, it will blow over in a couple of weeks. Until then, just allow him to mourn and try not to come across non-empathetic. Sons expect their mothers to understand their emotions.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt, at least for awhile. Even if he did not know the guy well, this could be his first hard lesson in mortality.... a lot of teens think that the only people who die are old people and strangers. It may be hitting home for him that he is vulnerable.... that he and his friends can get hurt. He shouldn't be so incapacitated that he can't do chores, but this could have struck a nerve with him.
this is a big problem talk to him now befor it starts to rot because if it sits this kid will go into big time depression talk to him in anyway get him to open up and try to cheer him up. see if you can get him to remember the good times and always remember him that way. make sure his socail life doesnt go down and if worse goes to worse and he get really bad depression check on him.


when my best friend ditched me i started cutting so check him if it gets that bad into a state. but try to catch it before it does. life for the next few weeks or months is gonna be hell just giving you a heads up





wish you the best of luck to you and your son





by the way i never thought i would result to cutting and i did it doesnt help at all
As long as it takes. He must learn how to get out of his depressed mind on his own. You are not going to be with him for another 100 years, unless you are immortal. Maybe he's playing you !
best to keep him home for school for at least 3 or 4 weeks.
First of all let me start by saying that teenagers are very emotional(even when they don't show it). So even if this child was not a close friend of your son's, the fact that someone his age (someone he associated with) died may have a hard impact on him. Let him know that you are there for him if he wants or needs to talk then give him his space to work out his feelings. ALWAYS keep the lines of communication open.
AS LONG AS IT TAKES SOME TIME ITS GOOD TO TALK ASK HIM TO TALK TO YOU
could be either one... when i was a teenager (im 25 now) i had a few friends die and i needed some time to myself for grieving. if this is the 1st time your son has experienced death i would give him a few days to sort things out for himself. being that its not a real close friend and just an acquaintance he should get over it soon. death is a terrible part of life and the shock can be alot for a teenage kid to handle.
uummmmmmm try tlkin 2 him 2 see if hes ok first then give him a couple of days 2 get use 2 da fact dat his friend went 2 a better place
He is probably feeling surprised that someone so young could die so suddenly. But as for not doing chores, he should probably be given a day or two home from school, and then sit down and talk to him. If it seems serious then try to get a grief counselor at school, or find one in your commmunity. Your lucky your son is showing emotions over this, since most boys keep it in, and end up letting out their emotions in a different way, like violence or drugs and alcohol.
i was 15 when i had someone very very close to me died.. i spend 3 days in my room.. alone.. which was the best thing for me.. my dad did come in often to make sure i was still breathing.. and when i was ready.. he was there to talk to me.. even called work to say my daughter needs me.. can't come in.. so.. when your child is ready.. be there for him..
Give him space but dont let him grieve alone. Make him feel your support and presence.
Even though it wasn't a close friend your son may still feel there was an attachment, also this friend was the same age as your son, it can be quite confronting for your son to have had a personal knowledge of someone who has died in a violent way. Be with your son as much as possible, talk to him but don't pressure him to talk about the death if it upsets him. Take this chance to discuss road safety and the need to observe road rules. Tell him how much he means to you.
give him time like


as longg as he wants.....


i mean its a very very sad thing to happen
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